Right, following in the footsteps of the last couple of posts regarding my Mother it's time to vent about my almost 32yo brother who also has a drinking problem, and a gambling addiction (of two different kinds) and is "recovering" from many other addictions - I can however sigh with great relief that he has never fallen under the spell of the dreaded heroin!!! Over the past two years he has been diagnosed with bipolar/schizophrenia and is being treated with the correct daily doses. As a result he receives a government disability pension.
Now I'm not about to say he shouldn't be given these funds as a means to live, but I am well within my rights to comment when I know those dollars are being squandered on the aforementioned crap. What gets me even more upset is the fact that every fortnight (a non-pension pay week) his 8.5yo daughter visits from Friday afternoon - Sunday afternoon and he supposedly has no money left, even for groceries! Generally, he is lucky that my Dad collects her from his ex-wife's house, due to my brother not driving, and treated to a (paid for) take-away meal. But, as he is away on business this week she was dropped off and there was no sign of a meal. This is where I feel angry and sad at myself...I bought him some staples so she would be cared for this weekend while Dad is absent. I drove over there around 6:30pm this evening just as Miss A was getting bathed etc so that she has breakfast in the morning.
How the hell people can live so irresponsibly is beyond me? Then I remember the facts relating to adult children of alcoholics that I've gathered in my research and personal experience. I think I'm the Placater and my brother is the Scapegoat. Please don't think I'm defending him or forming excuses for him, I honestly think these roles us sufferers fall under are factual. BUT, we all have choices and I feel he is making some very unsound life choices. No matter what amount of help I offer, it will never be enough. I feel sad to form the opinion that my brother is a "loser" in modern day terms.
It's a very sad situation, especially for the people (and particularly the children) who are left to pick up the pieces.
ReplyDeleteAddiction is a very insidious disease. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
How awful. This must be a very hard situation to come to grips with.
ReplyDeleteThanks girls, I have used up all my venting time on my partner and friends. I'm sorry that I have to blog about such sad times but for my own sanity and health it's a necessity. Luckily my niece is fairly well adjusted (for now!). I nuture her like my own.
ReplyDelete