I will combat the terrible two's!!!

Miss A is in the midst of the so-called 'terrible twos' phase of her life. Most days are great with her but to keep us on our toes she throws a cat amongst the pigeons to sort us out. I was reading 'The Mighty Toddler' by Robin Barker (Pan Macmillan - 2005) for some tips and here is what I summarised:

Robin Barker's five tips for easing toddler transitions:

1. Work out what's important
"There are things that are potentially going to cause drama, for example, potty-training and getting them from cot to bed. With these things the parent has to work out how important it is. If you can say 'actually it doesn't matter that much (right now)', in another six months' time, developmentally the toddler might have moved on and be more eager to do these things."

2. Be firm but fair - and consistent
"Because a toddler's inner world is so chaotic - they are going through huge changes - they really need confident adults around them who make it clear what they expect. The more confident the parents, the more secure the toddler will feel - and the easier it will be."

3. Remember they're a work in progress
"You can have a fiery, temper-tantrum-throwing toddler who could well grow up to be a very calm person. We have to be careful we don't too hastily assign characteristics. We shouldn't say 'she's very shy' or 'he's bad-tempered like Grandpa' because we are potentially setting them up for behaviour characteristics that may otherwise fade as they develop."

4. Do your research
"First-time parents often have unrealistic expectations of what toddlers can do and what situations they can handle. If you expect too much of them developmentally, it will increase their frustration and cause their behaviour to plummet, so reading up on development is important."

5. Make time for them
"Everyone wants the toddler to love the new baby - and you often find in the first week that they do, but it may not last! Often they'll love the baby but be awful to the parents. The first thing to understand is that it's normal and not to make a huge issue of it. The toddler needs time with his mother without the baby - that should be arranged once a week if possible."

So there you have it. What's so hard about all that?! Grrrrr...flat white pleeeeease.